Beep
by THE Mrs Kyo Sohma
Summary: Yuki's version of BEP's Beep. For me it's not funny, but please read and send me a hate review. For LUCID and her FRIEND


This is Yuki's version of PCD's Beep, very different from Kyo's BEP's Pump It. This story will suck! I had to go to their website to find out their names, but it didn't bother me much. And the lyrics here are changed. Yuki changed them, not me! Will.I.Am's name is shortened to Will. And… The lyrics won't rhyme, I think… They're changed, too, so **read the lyrics**. I suck!

**Lucid and her friend** wanted a humour fic of Yuki, like Kyo, and here it is! **Dedicated** to you guys! I hope this will turn out well… Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba nor PCD and their song. I'm not even thinking about wishing that I want to own it.

_Italics- lyrics_

-

"Oh God," Yuki prayed that night before going to sleep. "Don't make Shigure, Tohru and Kyo see me tomorrow, you know… doing… what I've wanted to do for the past few weeks."

Yuki looked up to the ceiling, and then hit his bed. "This is stupid!" he huffed, and then climbed into his bed, pulling the covers over his shivering body.

He hummed when his most favourite song ever made his way into his head. He started dancing in his bed, and then stopped.

"Save this for tomorrow, you idiot," he said to himself, and then went to sleep a few minutes later, still humming the song.

"Yuki, I'm going to go somewhere in town for a few hours later, okay?" Shigure told him the next day over breakfast.

Yuki looked up at him from his food. "Trying to escape your editor, eh?" he said.

Shigure sweat dropped. "Heh, well…" he said, scratching the back of his head.

"I won't be home till around 6 this afternoon," Kyo said, gulping down the milk. "Got to go to Master's place."

"And… And…" Tohru started. "I'm going to go to Uo's house, doing a little bit of homework. You don't mind staying here and taking care of the house will you, Yuki?"

Yuki looked at Tohru, trying to hide his happy feeling of having to stay alone at this house, with no one to disturb him. "Ah, yes," he said, smiling to her. "I wouldn't mind. I have nothing to do and nowhere to go, anyway."

Tohru sighed, happy. "Wow. Thanks."

Yuki smiled again. He knew they were going to go out today. They were talking about it when he was going down to eat his dinner last night.

"Oh I'm so happy!" he thought to himself.

They watched TV and just… did nothing in the living room. Yuki was waiting impatiently, but hid himself behind a book.

"Are you guys going anytime soon?" Shigure asked. "I'm on my way now. Why don't you come along with me?"

Tohru's ears perked up. "Ah! I'll be going in a few minutes, but it's better to go earlier, right? Wait for me, I'm going to change and then we can go." She ran up the stairs and came down a few minutes later in a dress. "Okay, I'm ready!"

Shigure looked over at Kyo, who was sitting on the couch surfing the TV. "You're not coming, Kyo?"

"I'm going to go in an hour. Why bother going now?" he grumbled, pressing the remote control buttons continuously, not stopping at any channel.

Shigure smiled. "Well, well. No one is going to accompany me walking alone with Tohru. Is that right, my love?" He started to slip his hand around Tohru's waist, but then in a matter of seconds Kyo was in front of him.

"You touch her and you die," he growled, and Yuki just rolled his eyes at that.

"Why don't I kiss you then?" He puckered up his lips and leaned in towards Kyo. A bump was already forming on his head, and then the pain quickly went to his head. "Ow! Kyo!"

Yuki sighed. "Why don't you sit next to me first, Honda, before you go?" he asked, and Tohru sat next to him, blushing.

"I'm going to go change. You better not leave without me." He went upstairs and then came again downstairs before anyone knew he was gone. "Okay, let's go."

He took Tohru's hand and walked her outside, and Shigure waved to Yuki, who was seeing them to the door. "Goodbye, Yuki. Tohru will be back at around 5 later, and me and Kyo won't be back later than that. Don't let anyone destroy my house."

"Whatever," Yuki mumbled when they were out of sight, and then a smile crept up to his face. He quickly shut the door and then threw his book somewhere. He ran up the stairs, and appeared a few minutes later in a sleeveless white jacket, red trousers and a yellow gym bra, just like what Nicole wore in the video.

(a/n: I don't know what to call their clothes that they used in the video, but just go with me, okay, guys? I'm very crap at knowing that kind of stuff, even though I'm a girl. I am so not into fashion… -whispers- Ignore me.)

He also brought down a laundry basket full of other clothes, for example mini skirts, short, up to the hips, shorts (err…) and also big dark sunglasses, scrunches, clips and whatever there is in the bag.

He took out a CD from the basket and popped it into the DVD player. He hit the play button, and the video soon played. He paused it first.

"Okay. I have to get ready. Um…" He looked around, and then started moving all the furniture to the side of the room.

-

"Okay, get your freakin' hands off her," Kyo said, but Shigure only held on to Tohru's wrist tighter. "Hey! I will still kill you even if we're just pretending! Now get your…"

"Alright, alright," Shigure said, backing away from the two of them. He chuckled. "A guy shouldn't be shouting in his girlfriend's ear."

With one punch, Shigure flew a good twenty feet away. "You either stay there for the rest of your life or let me bury you there alive," Kyo shouted at him.

"Tohru…" Shigure whined, extracting his hands for Tohru to take it.

"Ah… Shi…"

Kyo stopped her from going there. "Oh, no. You're not going to touch him. I'll go there myself."

"Please stop fighting, you guys," Tohru said.

"I'll stop if my flower asked me to," Shigure said when Kyo helped him up.

"She's a human, okay! Unlike you."

After a few minutes of bickering and a few bumps implanted on Shigure's head, they finally stopped.

"Ah! Look at the time! Yuki must be busy already by now!" Shigure said.

"Oh, look who's talking. You were the one who was whimpering to Tohru just now."

"Let's go!" Shigure started walking, not listening to Kyo.

"Ah… Shigure?" Tohru said. "Isn't it… bad to intrude in people's privacy?"

Shigure waved a finger at no one in particular. "Ah, no, no. We're not intruding or anything. We're just… watching a show to… amuse ourselves."

"But… The last time…"

"We should really be going right now!" Shigure said loudly and grabbed Tohru's hand. He wasn't ready to tell Kyo about… last time.

"L-Last time?" Kyo said, catching up to them. "What last time? Hey! Guys!"

-

Yuki pushed the play button, and the video started, sounding like a melody in his ears. He's wanted to do this since last week, the time when he started buying all these clothes. At first he was annoyed with the song, with the way they sing and dance and all, but then he grew attached to it, and realized he wanted to dance around like Kyo did the last time.

"But this time I hope that they won't be watching me," he thought, unaware of the three pair of eyes that were peeking in through the front door.

-

"Oh God," Kyo breathed. "Those clothes suit him, man!"

Shigure snickered. "You're not regretting that I ever brought you here?"

"This is going to kill him man! If the people and his fan girls at school know he does such things…"

"Ah! Kyo!" Tohru nearly said out loud, but Shigure clasped her mouth shut. "Kyo, you can't tell them."

Kyo looked at her. "Why?" he asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Because… Um… Because…"

"We will tell you later after this ended, okay? Now, look. The show is starting."

-

The sounds of instruments being played, the ones that Yuki doesn't know of, rang through the house.

The video have started.

_Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha  
Ha, ha-ha, ha  
Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha  
Ha, ha-ha, ha_

He smiled all the time while trying to sing the song. "Gosh I'm so nervous! But there's no one around!" he thought. "Let's do this! I've been waiting for a long time already."

He pushed the rolled up socks deeper into his gym bra, and then inspected it in a mirror. "Okay, that's big enough."

_It's funny how a man only thinks about the breasts  
You got a real big heart, but I'm looking at your boobs  
You got real big brains, but I'm looking at your tits  
Girl, there ain't no pain in me looking at your cunt_

He sang with all his heart, making his mouth as big as possible like Will's. He glanced, once in a while, at something across the room, like Will did to Nicole, and he imagined he was looking at Tohru.

_I don't give a fuck  
Keep looking at my boobs  
'Cause it don't mean a thang if you're looking at my tits  
I'm a do my thing while you're playing with your dick  
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha_

Now, he turned his voice a little bit like Nicole's, imagining, even though he didn't want to, that Kyo was Will, with all the weird shirts and stuff.

He took off his black sunglasses and looked at a chair, imagining that is Kyo/ Will, and then shook his head at it, and laughed stupidly. "I'm a wreck!" he shouted in the room, making the three unknown people jumps in surprise.

_Every boy's the same  
Since up in the seventh grade  
They been trying to get with me  
Trying to (fuck with me, lick my tits)  
They always got a plan  
To be my one and only man  
Want to hold me with their hands  
Want to (finger me, get in me)  
I keep turning them down  
But, they always come around  
Asking me to make them fuck me  
That's not the way it's going in_

He 'entered' a room, pointing to the chair to his five imaginary friends, and then rolled his eyes, as if annoyed, following nearly everything that's been done in the video. He did a friends shake with the air when the 'ha ha ha ha ha ha' came. And then he sat down on the table, 'surrounded' by his friends, and then ran his hands up and down his arms.

He then stood up and moved his hands down his boobs and his body, like Jessica did, and then shook his ass like Ashley, and then moved sexily like Melody and Kimberly and slapped at nothing like Carmit.. And then he tried to 'talk' like Nicole, but failed miserably, and he nearly gave up, but continued anyway.

_'Cause they only want  
Only want my cunt to be fingered  
me to be fucked  
Only want what they want  
But, they got their dick in wrong  
making me moan for more_

He ran his hands all over himself, imagining it was Kyo. "Yuck!" He has changed into a green 'shirt' already know, his stomach showing, and the boobs were just right. He wagged his finger at nothing.

_It's funny how a man only thinks about the breasts  
You got a real big heart, but I'm looking at your boobs  
You got real big brains, but I'm looking at your tits  
Girl, there ain't no pain in me looking at your cunt  
_

He shook his body and fake boobs, _badly_, at the TV and blew it a kiss, and then he danced again, his boobs shaking. "Okay, I think there are too many boob scene here…" he thought, but did them anyway. He pumped his boobs in the air, causing them to nearly fall out of his 'shirt'. He then 'showed off' his boobs to the screen, and then changed his voice to Nicole's.

_I don't give a fuck  
Keep looking at my boobs  
'Cause it don't mean a thang if you're looking at my tits  
I'm a do my thing while you're playing with your dick  
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha  
_

He swings his arms beside him, and then put a finger to his lips, a signal to be quiet, and brought out his skinny butt. He then moved in front of a mirror and 'smacked' his own butt, and then again shook his boobs.

_Do you know that no  
Don't mean yes, it means no  
So just hold it up, wait a minute  
Let me put my two fingers in it  
One, don't be patient  
Please be rushing  
Like you're pumping  
And two, you're cock's too long  
So try to get it in my (Ahh)_

He 'rode' a bike through the halls, and got ready to dance like the PCDs. He bent his knee a bit, and moved up and down twice, also at the same time walking forward. He then brought an arm around his head, and then put his right hand on his right boob, and the other hand he moved around in front of him. He then flicked his fingers and hair in the air, making his 'boobs' shook. He stood straight and brought his right hand in front of him, and then bends a bit and moved his butt. He then moved his butt around a bit, and then brought a hand up to his mouth, saying out the gasp.

_Do you know that I know how?  
And I want you to go faster_

He ran a hand through a hair, and tried to sing 'seductively', and moved his butt back and forth, and then jumped a bit.

_Only want  
Only want my virginity  
(if I have one)  
Only want what they want  
But, they had to fuck me  
right in front of my family  
_

He crossed his arms, and then did all the dancing moves quite badly. He sighed, and then tried to do the 'na ah ah' but he backed up into his basket and caused it to fall. "Shit!" he cursed.

_It's funny how a man only thinks about the breasts  
You got a real big heart, but I'm looking at your boobs  
You got real big brains, but I'm looking at your tits  
Girl, there ain't no pain in me looking at your cunt  
_

He did the 'beep' thing great, though. Quite suddenly. He danced, moving his feet, and then placed his hand over his mouth. He smiled at that, and turned into a good mood. He jumped, making his boobs 'fall down'. Literally. He shook his boobs, and then covered his ass. He pretended to look shocked, and laughed when he knew he actually enjoyed making his bouncy breasts shake.

_I don't give a fuck  
Keep looking at my boobs  
'Cause it don't mean a thang if you're looking at my tits  
I'm a do my thing while you're playing with your dick  
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha_

He didn't really like the way Carmit sings her line, and it just spoiled the whole thing. But he did try the way she shook her body. Shaking our body means shaking our boobs and shaking our ass. So he did it with all his heart. Made his boobs fall, though.

_Boomp-boomp, Omp-omp  
Boomp, boomp-boomp  
Boomp-boomp, Omp-omp  
Boomp, boomp-boomp_

"My favourite part," Yuki snickered. He was already changed that time, God only knows when and how fast. He shook his body, his ass, and his boobs the hardest he could, and came out with _wonderful_ results.

_Ooh, you've pumped in fast I want more  
You want it bad, and I'm giving you me  
Dude, what you got for me  
Is something I  
Something I really need  
Oh, oh!  
_

He did _everything_ the girls did, and his back nearly broke. "But shaking boobs is my thang!" he squealed, and shook his ass again.

_It's funny how a man only thinks about the breasts  
You got a real big heart, but I'm looking at your boobs  
You got real big brains, but I'm looking at your tits  
Girl, there ain't no pain in me looking at your cunt_

He imagined he was looking at Tohru's booty that was shaking.

_I don't give a fuck  
Keep looking at my boobs.  
'Cause it don't mean a thang if you're looking at my tits  
I'm a do my thing while you're playing with your dick  
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha_

He was in a mini-skirt now. Gawd. And tight overalls. He slipped his feet and pumped his breasts forward.

_It's funny how a man only thinks about the breasts  
You got a real big heart, but I'm looking at your boobs  
You got real big brains, but I'm looking at your tits  
Girl, there ain't no pain in me looking at your dick  
_

He imagined he was dancing with Tohru and Kyo, and he ran his hands down their bodies.

_I don't give a fuck.  
Keep looking at my boobs  
'Cause it don't mean a thang if you're looking at my tits  
I'm a do my thing while you're playing with your dick  
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha_

He cupped his fingers in front of his boob, and then moved in a motion as in a beating heart.

When the 'tuut' came at the end, he cheered, jumping around the room, and then stripped himself naked.

At that time, the three of them were still looking through the door, and Tohru didn't even close her eyes or turned around or anything. She saw Yuki in the living room, jumping around and holding on to invisible breasts on his chest.

They were all too shocked, and didn't burst in like they planned to.

They came back to the house not long later, at the promised time.

Yuki was all smiles.

"What?" he asked when he saw Kyo and Shigure staring at his face and imaginary boobs, and Tohru was glancing once in a while at his now covered cock she saw earlier that afternoon.

"What!" he shouted at them, and saw their knowing faces. He gasped. "You guys did _not_ see me this afternoon, right?"

Kyo was trying to fight back his laughter, but then just burst anyway. "You were _stupid_! I mean, shaking 'your' 'boobs'? Very rich! Wait till I tell Kakeru, and then he'll leak to everyone in school."

Yuki turned bright red. "Kyo! Argh! Why'd you guys peek, anyway! That was very private! And… And…" He turned to Kyo. "_You_ are not to tell anyone!"

"Why shouldn't I?" He laughed harder.

"Because _we_ saw what you did about three months ago!"

At that Kyo stopped laughing. He stopped moving, his breath caught in his throat. "WHAT!" he bellowed, standing straight.

"That's right. Me, Tohru and Shigure saw you three months ago dancing around in the living room to BEP's Pump It! And you were pumping more than I did!"

Kyo turned red. "I did not!... Did I?"

Yuki snickered, and then turned to frown. "Well, at least you did it nearly perfect, but me… Horribly wrong."

Kyo blushed, happy that someone praised him for his 'dancing' and pumping. "Really?" He then realized that this was about them watching him, invading in his privacy. "But why'd you have to watch me! I thought you guys were out that time!"

"Well, why'd you have to watch me too! That was so embarrassing!"

They shouted all through the night, and the next day they woke up sick with a sore throat.

END

-

Okay that sucked!

Sorry it wasn't funny or anything. I was chatting with my friends while I was doing that, and they kept on disturbing me and stuff. And sorry if the change in lyrics annoyed you or anything. I really couldn't come up with anything good.

If you send me reviews, say that this not funny fic is stupid and not funny at all!

What'd you think, Lucid? Sorry it was crap. But it's for you!


End file.
